Why I Haven't Written A Second Book

it's simple & complicated at the same time

December is the 3rd year anniversary of the publication of my first “official” book: The Moon Book: Lunar Magic To Change Your Life. 

I feel like a different person wrote that book, these past 3 years have so twisted and turned me. I celebrate the book and I celebrate the person who wrote that book. It’s been a true gift to see how it’s made its way out into the world, and it’s been an honor to get the feedback that this book helped folks change their lives. I am beyond grateful for every purchase, review, shout out, mention, and message. 

Everyone who gives advice about book writing suggests the first-time author to have another draft, another idea, waiting in the wings as soon as you hand in your final draft. Then, about 3-5 months after your book is published, you pitch the next book, so as to stay on track, momentum-wise. It’s also so you can sell your next book, in case of any lackluster sales. This is also so you don’t fall into the pits of despair that is the postpartum of finishing any major project, of which, a book is absolutely one. And yes, I absolutely experienced this after the Moon Book was out of my hands. 

I absolutely thought, post-publication, that I’d immediately be working on another.
6 books: that’s the amount of books I thought I’d write in my life, minimum. A writer, that’s one of the labels that always felt appropriate to cradle close. Now, it’s 3 years later, and I am far away from writing another book.

Why? 

1. Every year, I write a book. It’s called Many Moons, and it sells thousands and thousands of copies. I write about depth-psychology, trauma healing, nervous system regulation, myths, archetypes, phases, transformation, creativity, grief, neural and emotional reprogramming, spirituality, and other aspects of an examined life. I write dozens of Tarot spreads, rituals, and spells. I also edit the work of other writers, oversee the art direction, make illustrations, and promote and distribute the work. It’s a book a year, and I’ve been doing that since 2015.
   If you want to read my writing, you can do so, every year. 

2. Every year, I write thousands of words a week: words for the studio’s newsletters, words for my podcast, words for my course and workshop lectures that I teach, words for social media, words for Tarotscopes. Anywhere from 1,000 to 10,000 words a week. I’m always writing, all the time. All that writing is…writing! It’s where the writing brain space and time for a book might go. But instead it goes into audio, transformational classes, free newsletters, and other pieces of writing for the business. 

3. I run a business. This has been the main tension I’ve dealt with over the last few years that must be resolved. Running a business is full-on. And I have the kind of business where, if I don’t work, the studio does not make money. Passive income, who?  There isn’t a lot of time left over for creative pursuits outside of the creativity I use within the container of the business. This isn’t an either-or type of situation, I know: I’ve been determined to figure out a way to balance my inner creative practice and the business. I am deep in the process of trying.
   One decision I have made recently has been around this, and it feels really good. More to come on that. 

4. I got Long Covid and it has hindered my brain. I shared more about this on our patreon, so I won’t go into more detail. I am still in recovery, and not having the same access to: memory, cognitive function, and overall joy does not lend itself well to writing. Or writing well. 

5. Lack of inspiration. (See above.) There isn’t something that has crossed my mind that I want to spend 2.5 years on. Writing a book is years of life. It’s years spent writing and thinking and researching around the same subject, years spent with a publishing house, years spent with one editor, if you are lucky, more, if your editor leaves: which is common. My particular experience in publishing was not one I’d like to repeat, especially not for years. Months, sure. I can do anything for months. But years? There are many, many things I am inspired by. I haven’t yet found the overarching theme or idea that I want to spend that long on. When you know what it is…you just kind of know. That hasn’t happened yet, with enough passion, for me to take the leap. 

When the muse strikes me and keeps me motivated, I’ll absolutely write another book. Hopefully, 5 more, at least. ;) There are multiple smaller publications I have been trying to start, and soon I’ll clear my calendar for those. In the meantime, experience my writing here, here, here, and… right here. :) 

I’m sharing this, especially at this time, for you, gentle reader, to not be so hard on yourself about things you thought you should have done by now. Perhaps you can write your own list, of why you haven’t done them yet, and it might put things into focus around other aspects of your life that have popped up that need tending to. Relationships, depression, illness, bills to pay. Life stuff. Energy stuff. 

Perhaps, an exercise like this can help you refocus, find motivation, think deeply about what is most important and how to make time for what is most important. Don’t give up, but do get real. 

There’s a gap often, between what we want and where we are, and that gap is made up of life circumstances, time, patterns, self-doubt, and who we are ready to become. 

I’ll definitely be writing more about failure-literally, this year, everything I set out to do, I “failed” at, and I’m still processing the lessons of it all. That sounds dramatic, so to clarify, I’m more than fine. So fine, I’m currently warm on a couch, while my adorable family snores all around me. (By family I mean partner and 2 dogs, who are like mini-thunderstorms when they snore.) But, this year repeatedly pushed me to my limits by which I mean it showed me my limits. Humbling, and once the sting of ego is swept away, also refreshing. 

What has getting real about things you thought were going to happen showed you? Would love to hear your experiences.